“Celebration is the acceptance of life in a constantly increasing awareness of its preciousness. And life is precious not only because it can be seen, touched, and tasted, but also because it will be gone one day. When we celebrate a wedding, we celebrate a union as well as a departure; when we celebrate death we celebrate lost friendship as well as gained liberty. There can be tears after weddings and smiles after funerals. We can indeed make our sorrows, just as much as our joys, a part of our celebration of life in the deep reality that life and death are not opponents but do, in fact, kiss each other at every moment of our existence.”
Henri Nouwen
It’s at this time of year where I think I remember a lot of both joys and celebrations and trepidation and apprehension.
There is at least right now in our house with my daughter, Lorelai. She is on the cusp of finishing first grade this week in school, and big feelings are going on. She is scared about leaving first grade and heading into the summer. There’s some fear about forgetting what she has learned this year. She’s very anxious about second grade- getting a new teacher, a new classroom, maybe not being with some of her friends again next year in the same classroom.
But there’s also some excitement for the summer. There’s some looking forward to the family reunion we are going to in Tennessee. There’s the excitement of visiting Emmy and Hup (a set of grandparents) for a little while. There’s even excitement for visiting her God sisters. And yet, there’s fear – fear about leaving home fear about missing out on a good time, fear about not seeing her friends from school as often. Fear about summer camp and sleeping away from home for the first time. Fear about… well… who knows what else?!
And you know what? We can hold both fear and joy and excitement at the same time. In fact, we hold two feelings at the same time all of the time- happy and disappointed, sad and mad, jealous and glad. If you are graduating from High School or College, then there’s probably some fear of what’s next. Starting over again in college can be really neat and it can be fun to make a fresh start and try on who you might want to be. College graduation often means moving further into “adulting” which no one wants to do. But it also means being on your own, doing what you want, on your own schedule, making your own way in the world, figuring things out even when you really don’t want to.
I hope you get my meaning here. Henry Nouwen reminds us that our joys and sorrows do, in fact, kiss at every moment of our existence. We want to separate them, shield ourselves from the moments of sorrow and grief; but what if we let the sorrowful moments and the joyful moments kiss? What might that look like for us, or our families, or our household, nation, country, world? Can we hold the two things in tension knowing they both probably have a claim on our future?
In conclusion, Henri Nouwen beautifully captures the essence of celebration by highlighting the preciousness of life and the intertwining nature of joy and sorrow. Just as weddings and funerals can evoke tears and smiles, we can embrace both our sorrows and joys as part of our celebration of life. This powerful message reminds us that life and death are not adversaries, but rather intimately connected. As we navigate transitions and uncertainties, like Lorelai leaving first grade or graduating from school, we can hold both fear and excitement simultaneously. By allowing our joys and sorrows to coexist, we open ourselves to a fuller, more meaningful experience of life.